Zoë met Sam on one of The Apps. Or did Sam meet Zoë on one of The Apps? Who knows how it works with those Apps. To be safe, we’d better get both sides of the story:
How Sam remembers it
I was in Seattle visiting my sister and nephew, it was early August. It had been a pretty rough year of dating for me: bad dates, not a lot of matches on the apps, etc. I remember telling my friend Belinda, before my first date with Zoë, that if “this one didn’t work out” I was going to “take a break” (whatever that means).
I remember thinking that Zoë seemed too good to be matching with me, that we’d probably exchange a few messages and that’d be it. I think she had something in her profile about having a background in zoology (Zoë the zoologist, love it), so I did what I usually could not help myself to do, which was start with the weirdest possible thing I could say. I think I asked her if she had any favourite cryptozoological specimens (you know: bigfoot, chupacabras, that sort of thing).
Fortunately, she was into that sort of bull💩, and we got to talking pretty quickly. (Remember, kids: some things only need to work once.)
The first few months we dated were helped a lot by our shared, weird schedules. I rehearsed with my band into the late hours two or three times a week, and Zoë taught night classes. That meant that we were both “night people,” and we would have dinner together at ~10pm on a Tuesday. (Hey, we still do this! Once a night 🦉 always a night 🦉).
Not too long after we met, it was time for a global pandemic. You know the story. We were one of those couples, choosing to “bubble up” with each other, which led pretty quickly to us just moving in together. You learn pretty quickly how compatible you are with someone when you literally are not allowed to hang out with anyone else. I wouldn’t consider us “lucky” for that experience, but it was certainly unique, as far as courtships go in the broad swath of human history.
A lot of time has passed between then and now, but we still share the same easy conversation style, looping in and out through as many subjects as we can think of. It truly never gets old weaving Zoë’s formidable intellect and curiosity through the loophole of my own experience of the world. I’m so thankful to have found someone who I feel utterly at ease with, who appreciates my best qualities while tolerating my worst so patiently, who understands me without assumption. Our marriage feels as natural as all the moments together that have preceded it. ❤️
How Zoë remembers it
I met Sam in the Summer of 2019. At the time I’d taken a break from dating. I was never that keen on it, a person only has so much free time and I was struggling to justify spending mine with strange men. By August long weekend, after a few long chats with my close circle, I’d decided to put myself back out there. I redownloaded a dating app, and it presented me with Sam. Sam on stage, Sam playing hockey, Sam looking into the camera, an undeniably good-looking guy. His dating profile answers were silly and intriguing in a way I appreciated, so I figured why not, let’s ‘like’ him.
Generally, these things had a sluggish pace about them, with Sam it was different, he texted promptly and the conversation flowed easily. Sam is the best text conversationalist I know. Even in those first hours it was easy. Chatting with Sam didn’t involve the usual forced banter; he talked to me like I was a friend. He told me about his weekend visiting his sister in Seattle, how he’d laughed to her that there was no way I would text back, or that we’d ever meet. I of course proved him wrong; we messaged all weekend!
We agreed we should meet up and quickly had our first date. I honestly wasn’t too sure what to think, I learned Sam was involved in multiple music projects, and I hadn’t played an instrument since I was 15 (flute – badly). My musical ineptitude aside, some part of me knew that if we didn’t go on a second date I’d miss out on what felt like a budding friendship. I was right, as we got to know each other a sympatico emerged, we’re night owls, both like hosting dinner parties, and he was even reading my favourite book when we met. We went on a weekend trip to the Sunshine Coast, and Sam was happy to nerd out with me digging around trees looking for mycelium. We travelled together and moved in together the following spring, building a little garden patch in our new home. When Sam proposed four summers after we’d met it was an easy ‘yes please!’ on my part.
The guy is, in my opinion, the best. Sam is great at giving people recommendations of all sorts. Thanks to him I’ve discovered books by Canadian authors from the 60s and dined on the best udon soup in Tokyo. I tend to procrastinate and avoid difficult conversations, whereas Sam addresses things head on. Being with him instills an underlying sense of calm in me. It’s cheesy, but we balance each other out. Sam is creative and someone who can make things happen. When he excitedly came to me with the idea to start a music festival my gut reaction was: are you insane? But then, I knew he could pull it off. Sam has a unique set of traits that make him great at throwing parties and building community. It’s something I admire, and love taking part in. Sam is a talented writer, and as I’m sure many of you know, he’s hilarious. He comes up with witticisms in spades and does impeccable impersonations. The days I spend with Sam have me rolling my eyes and laughing my ass off. Meeting on a dating app may not be the most interesting ‘how did you meet story,’ but that’s how it went and I’m lucky that we did.